How Can It Be

I am guilty.  Ashamed of what I've done; what I've become. These hands are dirty.  I dare not lift them up to the Holy One. 
You plead my cause.  You right my wrongs.  You break my chains.  You overcome.  You gave your life. To give me mine. 
You say that I am free... How can it be?
I've been hiding.  Afraid I've let you down.  Inside I doubt that you could love me.  But in your eyes there's only grace now.
Though I fall, you can make me new.  From this death I will rise with you.  Oh, the Grace reaching out for me... How can it be?
You plead my cause.  You right my wrongs.
You break my chains.  You overcome.  You gave your life. To give me mine. 
You say that I am free... How can it be? The beauty of this song is that it can mean something different to whoever listens to it; it can even mean something different to the same person at different times, depending on what they are facing in their lives.    Today, this song is for me:  The young mother who lost it. The mom who yelled too much and spanked too hard. The mom who couldn't keep it together no matter how hard she tried. The mom who sunk to the floor and cried after her kids finally went to bed. The mom who in the every day battle; lost this one. At one point today, I felt bad for God.  I was losing it left and right because my toddler kept hitting the baby. Because he wouldn't listen. Because although everything I do is to help him, and to teach him how to be a good person, he screams and yells at my face; seemingly hating me.   During one of my many pleas to God today, I tearfully said, 
"I don't know how You do it."
But He does.  He lives.  He loves.  and He is there.  How can it be. 

-C