stand | you're not alone

I know I've been sharing a lot of songs lately; but you know what they say.  "Where words fail... music speaks." And words seem to fail quite a bit when you're going through a hard time. In one of my last posts, I talked about how I am no longer on my meds. Although I am still free and clear- I have had a really hard couple of weeks. After the initial withdrawals  (where I was positive I was going to die) I think my body was trying to balance out all the chemical jazz. (which made me feel like dying- also. Just in a different way.)  When I'm in the middle of a day where I don't feel like I can go on another minute..  when I don't feel like what I do is ever enough... when I feel defeated... when I feel so low I don't feel anything at all...
I listen to these songs, and I sing the words over and over and over again until I, myself, believe what I am saying. In this case--  "...still through the tears and the questioning why... I will stand my ground where hope can be found." Though times it seems like I'm coming undone This walk can often feel lonely No matter what until this race is won I will stand my ground where hope can be found. O Lord, O Lord I know You hear my cry Your love is lifting me above all the lies No matter what I face this I know in time You'll take all that is wrong and make it right. Your strength is found at the end of my rope Your grace it reaches to the hurting Still through the tears and the questioning why I will stand my ground where hope can be found. O Lord, O Lord I know You hear my cry Your love is lifting me above all the lies No matter what I face this I know in time You'll take all that is wrong and make it right.

I also just want to clarify something while I'm here..
I don't write these depression posts because I want pity or anything like that. I write them because I don't think that it is talked about enough. It's a "taboo" subject that is altogether avoided, kept in the shadows- AND sometimes people don't even recognize it as a "REAL" thing. 

I have a few close friends whom I have talked with who are going through it too and it's not fun to CONSTANTLY feel like something is wrong with you. To always feel alone and to not feel safe in your own head with destructive thoughts that don't stop.
I post these because I know there are a lot of people out there going through it too and well- you're not alone. Trust me.

-C