When I opened the email and saw the preview picture for our family photos- I {for lack of a better way to describe it} ugly cried.
Tears rushed, and gushed, and I as I opened the gallery... they didn't stop.
You see, I have this really big issue.
I struggle with being ungrateful.
Its a real problem that I deal with.. every single day.
A lesson that I have to re-learn and re-learn. The story of my life, right?
For example, last week, I told anyone that would listen how I was going crazy and getting really frustrated because Grace had been tantruming and crying and whining and screaming for three. days. straight.
I'm serious.
That's not an exaggeration.
Three days.
I vent day after day to my best friend about how I do not understand why Grant has to constantly pester his sister. Why he has to be so obnoxious and literally in my face all the time.
Last semester I had pity party after pity party because we sold our house, because Jaron was gone all the time, and because I had to do bed time for the kids by myself almost every night.
I get sucked into "this is hard, that is hard, I can't do this, this is too much.. " it goes on and on.
The reality for each of those circumstances?
The bottom of it all?
I was being ungrateful.
Lately, I've been able to take every "problem" that I think I have, every "hard thing" , every issue... and trace it back to ONE thing.
Ingratitude.
Each year my dance family finds a cause. We found our new cause last week.
They're a young family. The Brown family.
The husband and dad, David, is who we dance for. Although in the prime of his life, he is in congestive heart failure, waiting to get on the donor list while his health quickly declines.
But that's not all this family went through. As if that alone weren't enough..
Their first child, a beautiful little girl, died when she was only 6 months old.
This family had to bury their daughter, their baby, while dealing also with the failing health of David.
As I listened to a blog post that David's sweet wife wrote, I sobbed as she described getting up with their daughter in the night to feed her. She'd put her in this chair on the couch and feed her night after night.
Then one night. She went out to their living room.
Looked at where her baby once sat.
And had to grapple with the reality that she wasn't there anymore...
That she wouldn't ever be there again.
I had a big slap in the face.
A big. Hard. Slap in the face.
Here I was, honestly- struggling. Complaining. Being so frustrated and irritated with my two year old daughter for crying....
when I bet that Amanda would give anything to hear her baby cry again.
Do you see what I'm saying?
Ingratitude.
I'm telling you this because it's a big part of why I cried so hard when I was looking at these photos.
Yvette captured us.
So beautifully and clearly, she captured each one of us. And our relationships with each other.
And once again, I had the realization {this time a VISUAL one} that I had been being ungrateful... again.
The first picture I saw was the one of all of us, crouching down, laughing and smiling- playing together.
For the first time, I saw us.
I saw us in a way that I have never been able to before.
I saw my beautiful family.
I saw how truly happy we all are.
I saw how we have everything, because we have each other.
I couldn't believe, after looking at that photo that I ever had anything to complain about.
The pictures of Grace are incredible.
Yvette got pictures of her shy face.. her unsure face.. her face that everyone sees.
But she also got Grace's sweet side. The side that few, even we don't get to see all the time.
She got pictures of my silly boy. My boy who in these photos you can tell he really is silly, loud and a very in-your-face kind of kid.
But the picture of Grant hugging and squishing me tightly reminds me of the boy who is also incredibly tender hearted, who cares a lot about his mom and how she's feeling.
The boy who runs to get me a glass of water {I don't know where he got that from} when he sees me crying... or just refuses to leave my side, and just sits with me.
I don't have to keep going on about each photo.. I'll just show you.
Be grateful.
Don't take anything for granted.
You aren't guaranteed to live the next hour, and neither is anyone you care about.
I used to think, "That's a sad way to think about things... that doesn't do any good.. that's not my life so why think of all the bad that could happen, that probably wont. "
It's not sad.
IT'S LIFE.
When people get hit with real. life. problems.
Death. Cancer. Ilness of a child..
isn't that what the choir sings?
"I never thought it would happen to me."
It's so stinking easy to fall into ingratitude. It's easy to think that way. It is a truly indulgent feeling. {Seriously. Look it up. Studies show our psyche likes feeling bad for itself, playing the victim- it's the natural man in all of us}
I know I'm not the only person in the world who struggles with being ungrateful.
To some degree, all of us are the same way.
That's the point of life. So that we can learn.
Unfortunately, most of us learn this lesson the hard way- REGRET.
We learn when that person we should have loved, forgiven or spent more time with has suddenly been taken from us.
So LOVE fiercely.
FORGIVE freely.
and every. single. moment. with GRATITUDE.
I can't help but get teary eyed as I type this, but now you know all that is behind it, and understand why I'm emotional when I say..
I'm grateful, for my family.
-C
{Shameless advertising plug for my industry and best friend-}
P.s. ALL of that is why investing in a GOOD photographer is priceless.
A photographer who can give you that rare gift of getting a true glimpse into your life. A photographer who can give give you that gift of photos that jump off the page, you can FEEL how we felt. She is AMAZING. Yvette Cherie Photography is truly an amazing photographer, that did all that for me. <3