These questions have come from a range of people.. From those wanting to try a natural birth themselves to those who are just curious regarding my sanity.
Wherever you fit in those categories, I hope you find what you are looking for in this post!
"How did you find your midwife?"
She came very highly recommended by some of my friends.
This is really important you guys....choose your healthcare provider carefully. I can't stress this enough.
I wanted to address this first, because I will be answering all the other questions based on my personal experience with my midwife, Cyndia Johnson.
It is important to know that NOT ALL MIDWIFES ARE CREATED EQUAL. Midwifery is actually pretty poorly regulated (especially in Utah.) So it is very important to do your research before you make your choice. Your birth experience depends on it.
My midwife has her Bachelor's Degree in Nursing and her Master's Degree in Midwifery. She received her training in England and has attended more than 1,000 births! Frankly, I might just stop having babies if she retires. ;) (joke. but really. I need her. lol)
"Was it scary? I'm terrified but I also really want to try it."
Go with me on this...
Say you have a pregnant giraffe. This mother giraffe is totally ready to have her baby. She's in labor, about to start pushing- But wait, OH NO! She sees a hungry lion running straight at her.
Instant FEAR. TERROR. DREAD. PANIC. DISTRESS.
"I can't have my baby here!" She thinks. "It's not safe! My baby will get eaten and die if I have it here!" The Fight or flight response activates and releases adrenaline into her blood as she is able to stop oncoming labor for just enough time to get somewhere safe.
She escapes the oncoming danger, and once a safe haven is established... she gives birth without a hitch.
Our society has ingrained fear of birth into everyone's mind. BAD. (We DO NOT have hungry lions after us during labor. duuhhh)
You ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT BE AFRAID. You CAN NOT have one ounce of fear in you. Why?
Because like the mother giraffe, our fear activates the flight or flight response.
So how do you think your labor and delivery is going to go when your body is telling you to have the baby but your mind is telling you NOT to? Exactly.
A recipe for a difficult experience.
You have to get your mind + body in sync. So when your body is telling you to have the baby, you need to embrace it and go with it!
Go to the library and check out "Birth Without Fear". To be honest, I didn't read the whole book.. but what I did read helped me a ton.
The author, Grantly Dick-Read, talks about how fear intensifies pain. He's got all the science talk to back it up too (that's why I didn't read the whole thing.) He teaches you that if you are able to have a birth void of fear, you will not have pain.
#truth.
I experienced it.
"How did you prepare? Was there practicing?"
There really is no way to practice labor! lol
When I decided on a natural birth I told myself that to prepare I was going to do prenatal yoga and go on walks every. single. day. That didn't happen! I did yoga here and there, but mostly I went on walks and the only reason I did was because I had a stir crazy son who wanted to be outside!
To be honest, I spent most of my time preparing my mind- which I think is really really important.
I highly recommend preparing, and gaining control of your mind.
There were times that I would start to get nervous or afraid when I thought about the fact that I was going to do it naturally. But I would shake those thoughts and tell myself that there was nothing to be afraid of, that my body was "made for this", and that fear would make it hurt.
Don't let fear or doubt in for one. second. Not one!
I trained my mind to think of labor, contractions and delivery as a positive thing. A thing to be excited and happy about. (Because they are!) Contractions are good. Labor is good. Delivery is good.
I never used the word "pain"- I would use "sensations" instead. The word 'pain' itself has such a negative connotation and negative things just weren't allowed! I told my husband and midwife that they weren't allowed to use that word either. So no asking if I was "in pain" or not. They could only ask how I was doing, or how I was feeling.
I think the way I trained my brain was what enabled me to enjoy Grace's birth so much!
"Did you change exercise habits to help strengthen your body for delivery?"
Like I said before, I started doing some prenatal yoga.. however with a baby to take care of (one inside and one out) I wasn't able to do it as much as I would have liked!
However, the prenatal videos I found were amazing and I loved them! You can find the prenatal yoga videos I did by clicking here.
"If anything was wrong with baby, what would the protocol be if you don't deliver at the hospital? Do birthing suites have medical equipment?"
My midwife and all of her assistants are well trained in emergency procedures and the Birth Sweet does have life saving equipment on hand. One of her assistants is even a NICU nurse!
My midwife only takes low risk pregnancies and women who are in excellent health. She doesn't take women who are expecting multiples, and she will not even attempt to deliver if the baby is breech. She is very cautious about the work she takes on, and I think that is why she has never had a death! (Also because she's just amazing.)
The birth center I was at is only like two blocks away from the hospital, so if anything were to occur, we would have been able to be there in minutes.
"What about insurance?"
It all depends on who your midwife is. My midwife accepted our medicaid, so all we had to do was pay $300 for her assistant. However if you don't have insurance it is a very affordable option! I believe it was $2,300 or something for everything, which was nice! (NOT why I chose to do it though. It was NOT about the money.)
"Did you do the same prenatal tests this time as you did with Grant?"
Yes yes yes! Blood screens, glucose screen, pee tests... all the same. The only difference was that I remember having a few ultrasounds when I went to an OB. My midwife only requires one ultrasound at twenty weeks. However- if that freaks you out, she has an ultrasound tech come every moth and if you want to see your baby then you pay the guy and he will do an ultrasound for you!
"Did you have to have a back up plan?"
Um... no? I didn't plan my birth out at all. My game plan was no plan! lol My plan was to listen to my body and do whatever it needed. I think this is what has made my births successful. If you go in with a plan- you quickly realize that your plan is most of the time not the baby's plan.
I actually thought I would just have Grace on a bed. Once I got there I thought we'd give the tub a go, and once I got in I thought, "Okay, I will just get out when it's time to have her."
But then I realized that it just was just waaaay nicer in the water. So I stayed in the tub and had a tub birth. Was that the plan? No. But it happened!
Be open!
Don't make plans!
Just go with the flow. :) Relax!
If something were to happen where we needed to be transferred to the hospital, then I'd just do whatever the doctors needed me to to save me or the baby.
Most people "plan" to have babies naturally, and their Plan B is an epidural if they can't handle it. Once they get to the hospital and feel what's going on they ditch Plan A and go straight for the juice.
I loved birthing Grace at the birth sweet because there was no option for pain meds. I knew I was going to have to do it myself. I chose to do it myself. That helped a lot.
"What did Jaron think?"
I am going to try not to get too personal but we actually had tiffs about my decision a lot.
After Grant was born I told Jaron that the next time I had a baby I was going to do it naturally and at home. He was okay with that until I actually got pregnant and he realized I was serious.
Compromise #1 was not having her at home. So we decided we were going to have her at the Birth Sweet. However.. Jaron quickly became very uneasy about it.
I understood where he was coming from, but it was something I really wanted so I stood my ground.
I would cry (literally. every time.) at the thought of having Grace at the hospital without Cyndi. I did not want to do that again. I did not want to have my baby there. No way, jose!
I wanted the quiet peace and tranquility that the Birth Sweet offered.
Jaron finally came around, and during/after the birth he realized that it wasn't bad at all and that he actually liked it better! He was put at ease because frankly Grace's birth was 100x more amazing than Grant's. (Sorry Bop, not your fault.)
"How did you get Jaron involved?"
My poor Jer. I think he had it harder during the birth than I did.
I was in a heated, cozy, spacious tub and he was stuck on this like.. stool thing? I don't know what it was.. but he was on this uncomfortable chair for five straight hours holding my hand. He was great. :)
"Did he learn techniques to help with your discomfort?"
No. lol.
I remember at one point I was going through a rather intense contraction and Jaron kept telling me to squeeze his hand (I was just holding it.) and he kept telling me I could squeeze his hand harder. At one point he said, "Come on, I know you can squeeze harder that!)
I told him to shut it. lol
I needed my strength to go else-were... not my hand!
He was just trying to help though, bless his heart!
His presence alone was and is comforting, so he did his job. :)
"Was it weird to not be in a hospital?"
NO! NO! NO!!! Like I said before, I rrreeeeeaaaally did not want to have her in the hospital. Compared to the homey, comforting birth sweet the hospital seemed so cold to me.
I was exactly where I wanted to be. And it was perfect!
"How bad was the pain, really?"
I'm being serious- I can't say it was pain. It wasn't pain.
I remember it was difficult to breath because my stomach would get so tight. (helllooo? CON-TRAC-TION. That's why they're called that.)
**If you don't want TMI, skip to the next question!**
When I was actually birthing her I remember that 1. I was probably making weird cow noises... but that was because it helped me bear down and push-NOT because I was in unbearable pain (even though it may have sounded like it, I really wasn't!) and 2. It just felt like... stretching? It was uncomfortable but I honestly don't remember it. It lasted like one second and then there she was. My baby. My sweet angel baby! The second she was out... it was over. It was done. I felt completely amazing!
"Was it hard to stay focused during labor?"
There was one point where I was getting tired and I was worried that I was doing it wrong. I was worried that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to and I felt myself starting to lose confidence so I said a prayer.
After that I was right back on track! :)
"Did music help with labor? Or meditating? Did you do hypno birthing?"
I did not do hypno birthing. I did make a birth playlist, but I think it ran once and then I didn't care about it anymore. (See? I don't even remember.)
I guess you could say that what I was doing at the peak of labor was meditating. I never thought about it that way, but yes that's what it was!
The dictionary defines meditation as
- "thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation.
think deeply or carefully about (something)."
It was completely silent (at least to me. I knew Jaron and Marissa were talking but I don't know what they were saying.) and I prayed and thought about Grace, and listened to my body and what it needed. (Like push, not push. Turn around, change position. etc..)
"Did it drive you nuts to have more people coaching?"
Nobody really coached me! That's how I wanted it! When I was actually in the process of birthing Grace Cyndi did help by telling me what was going on, and she did send positive, encouraging thoughts my way. But other than that I didn't really have intense coaching.
During the early parts of labor my midwife and her assistant were actually upstairs and they gave us some privacy which was nice. So although there were four other people there besides me, I didn't have a million chatterboxes in my ear. :)
"Was labor faster without medicine?"
For me, YES! Here is my theory/opinion and I may be wrong but who cares! This is my little space on the web so I can say whatever I want ;)
My theory is that labor goes faster without medicine because you know whats going on! Once my water broke it seriously took me two minutes to get her out. TWO MINUTES!!
**Again, skip if you don't want TMI**
I remember when I felt her head coming. I did a big push and I felt her head probably come like halfway out. I pushed as long as I could but when I stopped pushing I felt her head go back in a little. Mind you, the stretching was uncomfortable, so I was like, "NU UH! YOU'RE COMING OUT." And so I pushed her out. :) The end.
With Grant, I took kind of long pushing (Like 20 minutes) and his head sported the weird cone shape when he came out. I got Grace out so fast her head was perfectly round when she came out! It was awesome!
"Maybe super nosy but did you tear this time? Does the midwife stitch things up if you need it?"
The amazing thing was no! I did not tear this time! I did with Grant, probably because 1. I couldn't feel uncomfortable because I couldn't feel anything so 2. I took my sweet time pushing.
Recovering from that tear was the worst.
I did not tear with Grace, but if I had- yes! My midwife totally has the capability and equipment to play Bob the Builder, Can we fix it? Yes we can!
(Can you tell what Grant likes to watch now-a-days?;))
"Did you stay over night in the birthing suite?"
We got to the Birth Sweet at 7 pm. I had Grace around Midnight. We stuck around to be monitored, so we all slept and then Cyndi made us "breakfast" and we were home by 3 am. So nice. No fuss!
It felt so nice to be able to go home and be in my own bed!
"Was nursing different with natural birth? Was she more alert and able to figure out latching?"
I am actually just lucky and I'm blessed with good, hungry and latching babies. So I didn't quite notice a difference there.
"How was recovery different this time?"
NIGHT. AND. DAY. DIFFERENCE.
I HATED THE WAY I FELT AFTER I HAD GRANT. (This is one of the biggest contributing factors as to why I chose natural this time.) What I didn't know about epidurals was that after you have your baby.. you are still numb. It doesn't go away instantly. You know how you can push the button to give you more meds? I didn't push it once. I had the minimal amount of the epidural going through me and I felt like I was awake in a coma.
I had to have Jaron help me hold Grant and position him for feedings because my body just felt so weird and off.
I hated that after I had Grant I was useless. They had to roll and lug me into another bed to get me upstairs. Nurses had to help me go to the bathroom and pull my fancy mesh panties up. It was the worst.
We stayed for two days even though nothing was wrong with us. I remember walking out of the hospital I felt soooo weird. Walking was so hard!
Recovering from my tear was no fun.. and those stitches were no fun.
I wasn't expecting recovery to be different. I was actually expecting it to be worse because the lack of meds.
After I had Grace I remember my midwife asked me to stand up so we could get out of the bed. In my mind I was like, "Can I do that??" Because remember? After Grant I couldn't stand up for like a whole day.
I stood up and it was like flippin magic. I stood up and I felt great! I felt normal! It was amazing!
I was walking around perfectly. I was able to go to the bathroom by myself! It was sooooo nice. So. So. soooooooo perfect!
The other thing that I learned was that the epidural with Grant not only blocked feeling "pain" but it also blocked the natural high that comes after.
I did not feel that "rush of endorphins" after having Grant.
But after Grace?
Euphoria. Pure happiness. So much energy. (weird right? loved it!) I was giddy and like higher than cloud nine. It was crazy!! I was just so so soooo happy/excited!
When our families came to visit us the next day, everyone kept commenting on how great and fantastic I was doing. How amazing I looked. They said I didn't look anything like just having a baby.
They seemed so surprised!
It was GLORIOUS! I felt amazing from the instant she was born and every minute after. :)
Because why? Because NO DRUGS!
The question I get most, is "Why?"
Why did I choose a natural birth?
Because the conventional way of receiving prenatal care and giving birth is not for me. At all.
I wanted more personalized care.
-My appointments with Cyndi were a minimum of 30 minutes.(That's time WITH HER. Not waiting in a waiting room.) She didn't just care about my physical health and the health of my baby... she cared about me. She is so dear to me, and I have grown to love her so much. She is like family now.
I didn't want to feel like a number.
I don't believe that birth is a medical matter (if you + baby are healthy). It is a personal family matter.
As a human race, we've been birthing outside hospitals since the beginning of time.
I know that my body was created for this purpose, and I wanted to see what birth was like the way God intended it.
It was amazing and for more reasons than one, I learned once again that Heavenly Father knows exactly what He is doing.
"Did it drive you nuts to have more people coaching?"
Nobody really coached me! That's how I wanted it! When I was actually in the process of birthing Grace Cyndi did help by telling me what was going on, and she did send positive, encouraging thoughts my way. But other than that I didn't really have intense coaching.
During the early parts of labor my midwife and her assistant were actually upstairs and they gave us some privacy which was nice. So although there were four other people there besides me, I didn't have a million chatterboxes in my ear. :)
"Was labor faster without medicine?"
For me, YES! Here is my theory/opinion and I may be wrong but who cares! This is my little space on the web so I can say whatever I want ;)
My theory is that labor goes faster without medicine because you know whats going on! Once my water broke it seriously took me two minutes to get her out. TWO MINUTES!!
**Again, skip if you don't want TMI**
I remember when I felt her head coming. I did a big push and I felt her head probably come like halfway out. I pushed as long as I could but when I stopped pushing I felt her head go back in a little. Mind you, the stretching was uncomfortable, so I was like, "NU UH! YOU'RE COMING OUT." And so I pushed her out. :) The end.
With Grant, I took kind of long pushing (Like 20 minutes) and his head sported the weird cone shape when he came out. I got Grace out so fast her head was perfectly round when she came out! It was awesome!
"Maybe super nosy but did you tear this time? Does the midwife stitch things up if you need it?"
The amazing thing was no! I did not tear this time! I did with Grant, probably because 1. I couldn't feel uncomfortable because I couldn't feel anything so 2. I took my sweet time pushing.
Recovering from that tear was the worst.
I did not tear with Grace, but if I had- yes! My midwife totally has the capability and equipment to play Bob the Builder, Can we fix it? Yes we can!
(Can you tell what Grant likes to watch now-a-days?;))
"Did you stay over night in the birthing suite?"
We got to the Birth Sweet at 7 pm. I had Grace around Midnight. We stuck around to be monitored, so we all slept and then Cyndi made us "breakfast" and we were home by 3 am. So nice. No fuss!
It felt so nice to be able to go home and be in my own bed!
"Was nursing different with natural birth? Was she more alert and able to figure out latching?"
I am actually just lucky and I'm blessed with good, hungry and latching babies. So I didn't quite notice a difference there.
"How was recovery different this time?"
NIGHT. AND. DAY. DIFFERENCE.
I HATED THE WAY I FELT AFTER I HAD GRANT. (This is one of the biggest contributing factors as to why I chose natural this time.) What I didn't know about epidurals was that after you have your baby.. you are still numb. It doesn't go away instantly. You know how you can push the button to give you more meds? I didn't push it once. I had the minimal amount of the epidural going through me and I felt like I was awake in a coma.
I had to have Jaron help me hold Grant and position him for feedings because my body just felt so weird and off.
I hated that after I had Grant I was useless. They had to roll and lug me into another bed to get me upstairs. Nurses had to help me go to the bathroom and pull my fancy mesh panties up. It was the worst.
We stayed for two days even though nothing was wrong with us. I remember walking out of the hospital I felt soooo weird. Walking was so hard!
Recovering from my tear was no fun.. and those stitches were no fun.
I wasn't expecting recovery to be different. I was actually expecting it to be worse because the lack of meds.
After I had Grace I remember my midwife asked me to stand up so we could get out of the bed. In my mind I was like, "Can I do that??" Because remember? After Grant I couldn't stand up for like a whole day.
I stood up and it was like flippin magic. I stood up and I felt great! I felt normal! It was amazing!
I was walking around perfectly. I was able to go to the bathroom by myself! It was sooooo nice. So. So. soooooooo perfect!
The other thing that I learned was that the epidural with Grant not only blocked feeling "pain" but it also blocked the natural high that comes after.
I did not feel that "rush of endorphins" after having Grant.
But after Grace?
Euphoria. Pure happiness. So much energy. (weird right? loved it!) I was giddy and like higher than cloud nine. It was crazy!! I was just so so soooo happy/excited!
When our families came to visit us the next day, everyone kept commenting on how great and fantastic I was doing. How amazing I looked. They said I didn't look anything like just having a baby.
They seemed so surprised!
It was GLORIOUS! I felt amazing from the instant she was born and every minute after. :)
Because why? Because NO DRUGS!
The question I get most, is "Why?"
Why did I choose a natural birth?
Because the conventional way of receiving prenatal care and giving birth is not for me. At all.
I wanted more personalized care.
-My appointments with Cyndi were a minimum of 30 minutes.(That's time WITH HER. Not waiting in a waiting room.) She didn't just care about my physical health and the health of my baby... she cared about me. She is so dear to me, and I have grown to love her so much. She is like family now.
I didn't want to feel like a number.
I don't believe that birth is a medical matter (if you + baby are healthy). It is a personal family matter.
As a human race, we've been birthing outside hospitals since the beginning of time.
I know that my body was created for this purpose, and I wanted to see what birth was like the way God intended it.
It was amazing and for more reasons than one, I learned once again that Heavenly Father knows exactly what He is doing.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I hope this post answered questions you might have had, and I hope I helped shed a positive light on natural birth! It truly was the most beautiful experience of my life, and I can't wait to do it again!!!
-C