;laksdnfueieah89g[aoierjghap[80e9podfjklljfniuaw0]-WEO;SLDFKNVURA[8WEUFIOAHD!!!!!!!!
Yes, I'm S T I L L waiting for this baby!!!
Crazy right?
Part of me is starting to think that he'll never come out.
Maybe he's just too cozy in there.
Who knows.
We have a doctor's appointment today so we'll see what happens.
aannyywaayyy... to try to keep my mind off of all that ^ ......
2-30: "Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears."
1. I'm afraid that I'll get depression.
There are several people I've known throughout my life who have had to battle depression. That stuff is seriously the real deal. It's dark, and it's scary.. and usually you don't win. Whenever I'm sad or upset or angry, I just think of it like, "Oh, Satan has got control over my emotions right now and I just need to shove him out!" Then I'll sing a song and feel better.
But with depression? That's something that no primary tune will fix. It's like darkness has full control over your emotions and there isn't a thing you can do about it. Some medications make you better.. but then sometimes it can make you worse.. I don't know. It's just scary stuff.
During this last bit of pregnancy.. due to anxiety (bad anxiety) over the arrival of the baby, SERIOUS lack of sleep, and bodily aches and pains.. I think I've had a little taste of depression.
I'm chronically bored and listless.. I'd rather not do anything.. I don't want to talk to anyone.. I'd rather stay alone.. I make myself sleep so that I don't have to deal with being awake.. I feel empty..
Those aren't fun feelings! So yes. Depression is definitely a legitimate fear.
2. I'm afraid of someone getting lost.
This became a fear when I was young. I don't remember the exact age but we'll say I was 11 and my younger brother Charles was about 5 or 6. Anyway... Charles was at his piano lesson and my mom went to go pick him up. When she got there he was gone. Immediately we all split up and looked all over town for him. I remember I was just so scared and I was crying. I remember praying over and over in my heart that we'd be able to find him and that he'd be okay. I remember feeling like I needed to go look for him up on the highway. So I ran up the hill, and sure enough.. there was poor little Charles, toting his big bag of piano books, trudging slowly along the road, huffing and puffing and crying great big alligator tears. I remember seeing the fear in his eyes.. because not only did we know he was lost.. but he knew it too. I remember screaming, "Charles!" and him running towards me as fast as he could screaming my name through his tears. So. Sad.
I hope nobody in my life ever gets lost ever again. Oh my gosh if I ever lose any of my kids I'll be a basket-case! I seriously can't handle it!
3. I'm afraid of pornography.
This has been a fear of mine since high school, and has become even more and more scary to me every single day. In high school, I had friends who confided in me with their problems with pornography and I saw how it not only affected their lives but how it even changed their personalities as well. Not only that, but throughout my life I've seen how it has ruined peoples lives, their marriages.. their families.. everything. Pornography is today's battle. I hate how it creeps up anywhere and everywhere. I hate how easily accessible it is. I worry that somehow it will creep into my life somehow and ruin my marriage or my family or my anything. I wish it didn't exist!
Well gee, that wasn't a very cheery post.. but there you have it!
Those are the top three fears of Carmina Joy Hughes.
In case you were wondering.. I'm also afraid of big spiders, crocodiles, large snakes, swarms of bugs, and kidnappers.
The end :)
