"Well... now what?"

You know, I don't even know why I'm surprised. I don't know why I even bother to ask "why?". I mean, I've known it all along.... since primary they've taught me that this life is all just one big test. That was even the lesson Jaron and I taught our primary class just two days ago. So now amid everything going on in my life I can't help but feel silly when I ask why. {Duh Carmina. You know why.} But still.. that doesn't keep me from asking.. OR feeling the way I currently feel. ---Now stop. If you've had a wonderful, cheery day I advise you to not read any further. I suggest to keep your spirits up, you exit out of this window and go find another blog to read. You know, one that has a cutesy craft tutorial or the deets on their latest fun-filled family vacation. But, if you don't mind reading about the "woe-is-me" day I'm having go ahead. Read on.---Maybe it's the pregnancy. Maybe it's the hormones. Maybe it's because I slept for too long and sat in the front room with all the curtains closed until noon. Who knows. But do you ever have those days when you just feel.. I dunno. Defeated? Bummed? Down-in-the-dumps? Unmotivated? Lost? Well that's me today. Yup. All of the above. I hate making plans. I hate making plans because you make all these plans and change your life around and make all these tough life-altering decisions because you know.. you have a plan... and then all of a sudden it's like everything falls through. The reason for all of the changes you made isn't even a reason anymore. Or is it? {I know I'm being vague but I hope you're at least getting the idea} And then your plan is like dead. And then you find yourself sitting in the front room with the curtains closed till noon thinking..."Well...now what?"
This always, always, always happens! Just when I think I've got life all figured out something happens to make me realize that I don't. {....cue feeling defeat here} So here I am... and now what? No matter how many times I learn this same lesson... I always forget this one thing-There is only one person who has my life figured out. And as much as I sometimes hate to admit or agree to it... that person isn't me. 
Heavenly Father is the one in charge here. I know He is. He always has been. Yes I make my own plans and yes I have my own idea for things... but in the end it will always be by His will that I succeed. Not mine. I feel that I need to take a lesson from Nephi. In the second book of Nephi in chapter four and verse thirty-four he says:  "O Lord, I have ^atrusted in thee, and I will ^btrust in thee forever. I will not put my ^ctrust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his ^dtrust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm."Right now I'm at the point where I don't have a plan anymore. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what lies in store for me or my family. {and the fact that we have a little one coming makes the uncertainty even more frightening.} I don't know what to do from here...and I'm scared. All I know is that now is the time where I have to exercise my faith and trust in God and take that step into the dark. I need to trust Him enough to let Him be in charge. I need to be humble and accept His will. I need to trust that we will be okay...that He will take care of us. I know this is going to be hard but like I said before.... it's all just one big test.. right?