One of my favorite things about blogging is that I can look back on things I have written. Almost every time that I go and look through old posts, I am amazed at something that I went through or something I wrote that I totally had forgotten about. The best part is when things I have written bring me comfort in times of trial. This is a poem that I wrote for a talk I gave when Jaron and I were living in Cedar.
"I'm sorry I forgot you."
"For the last little while now.. things have been so hard..
your heart has broken, and no doubt, it will leave you scarred.
At night you kneel to Father, and ask Him for his grace.
Divine help is what you need, to live in this worldy place..
You ask for comfort, and for help, because you can't handle it alone.
Tears fall as you plead, for the mercy you've foreknown.
You wake up in the morning, and you feel your life is good.
You're happy because everything, is going as it should.
You don't have any problems, every care has gone away..
and you feel so lucky, that your life turned out this way.
You go to work, spend time with family..things are really great!
You're life is finally looking up.. at an incredible, fast paced rate.
You start feeling strong enough, to take on new things..
But you forget to thank someone.. for all of these blessings.
Sometimes the thought comes to mind.. "well maybe I should pray."
but life, and all that comes with it, seems to get right in the way.
It's been quite some time now.. your scriptures are dusting on the shelf..
someone is probably getting, way too wrapped up in them self.
Slowly things start changing.. your attitude is grey.
and you begin to wonder why things didn't stay that way.
You wake up in the morning.. but decide to go back to sleep..
because all of a sudden, your problems seem so deep.
you mope around, become lazy.. you don't do much anymore
and you don't even remember, the last time you stepped out the door.
You begin to want to be alone.. your friendships you ignore
and suddenly you may think, that your family is a bore
all of a sudden, and out of the blue
you begin to realize, you aren't being you.
how did this happen? how did things get so bad?
how come all of a sudden.. I am always sad?
Then you remember, what it is that you have done.
You forgot to thank your Father, because you were too busy having fun.
You fall to the floor, and on your knees you say,
"Father I am sorry, that I behaved that way.
I'm sorry I forgot you.. I'm sorry I haven't prayed
I guess now I know why the good time hadn't stayed.
It isn't right or fair to you, that I only pray
When life is hard, or when I want a trial to go away.
I know now I always need you, especially when things are good
so that you can always remind me, to live the way I should.
Please help me to remember, who I really am
So that someday I become, everything I can.
I promise that I won't forget you, I'll pray every night
and if I do I know that from now on it'll be alright."